Let's start back in January. On the 11th I celebrated 20 years of sobriety. That decision was the single most important in my life. I have a life because of it. A few months later, I was able to enjoy 20 years of being a non-smoker. I am grateful.
In April, on the morning after Easter Sunday I was invited to join the staff at a landfill free waste removal company owned in part by my brother. This job could not have come at a better time. I am able to work from home. My hours are flexible. The pay is good. My responsibilities are increasing. It is so cool that I am working with my brother. I have always adored him and now I am getting the chance to be closer to him and it makes me smile. Not to mention I am doing something brand new half way into my life! How fortunate I feel.
In May, my good friend moved a mile or so away. You see, when she moved she stopped being my next door neighbor. That was hard for me. Her house was one where my whole family was loved and welcomed and I knew I would miss that most. While my family members each have friendships in our neighborhood with various folks, in her home we all had a place. Our kids grew up together from babies in our adjoining back yards where we enjoyed 10 years of impromptu and planned gatherings sharing coffee and catching lightning bugs. Our husbands would get together and play tennis on summer nights. When we were snowed in or lost power our families ate Chinese and puzzled by candlelight. It's priceless to have this kind of a neighbor and friend. When I learned her family was moving, I cried. I had nightmares. I cried in the shower. (I don't know about you, but shower crying is reserved for the really sad stuff.)
So began the summer with me working from home and my kids at home, too. The one thing I learned was that next summer will most certainly be different...C-A-M-P!
Early in the summer, I got a call from a friend I've known nearly all of my life telling me she had breast cancer. She is my first friend to get this diagnosis and I was stunned. She was stoic, but of course I cried on the phone. She continues to amaze me with her strength and if anyone can kick cancer's ass, it's her.
Throughout the end of last school year, it was becoming apparent that we needed to talk to my son about his having autism. I cried during that conversation. It was short and upbeat and he seemed to handle it well. Since then, we've spoken about it a few times and the conversations are all good and some are more difficult than others. He has really come into his own this past year and I love him for all I'm worth.
My younger son may have some medical issues that are minor and we have consulted with his pediatrician. After having one child diagnosed with Autism, I get really frightened at the prospect of dealing with anything more than a cold. On the positive side, he is happy, a talented artist and he loves his momma! He and his brother are fast friends. All things considered, we are lucky. And I must say that I'm glad 8 year old boys still like to snuggle!
I lost two beloved pets this year, a cat, Lucy and a sweet little dog named Sushi. They were the last of my single pets, the last ties to my life as a single person. Both lived long, happy lives. I was with both of them when they passed. Lucy at the vet's office and Sushi at home. My poor babies! My creatures are part of my family and I am grieving for them and little for my single life, too.
Hurricane Sandy left my family unscathed, but battered my beloved Jersey Shore. So much loss. I have helped in some small ways and feel like I should do more for those affected. Every time I see the photo of the roller coaster on the Seaside, NJ Boardwalk mangled and laying in the ocean it ignites a feeling of sickening dread. I think of our family home in Cape May Point, NJ and the realization that we could lose our home in another storm is horrifying.
In the past couple of weeks, I have enjoyed a few cups of coffee and tea with my friend in her new home. (Yes, I was talking to her. She only just moved in!) Strangely enough, I feel the same way in that house as I did when she lived next door. Go figure! Another lesson learned.
What I have come to understand is that I seem to cry a lot and that this is life. It is not happening to me, it is happening inside me, all around me and to all of us all the time. 2012 isn't over yet and I am feeling that familiar child-like giddiness at the approaching holiday season. I am looking forward to all that will be enjoyed and challenged and experienced, every little bit of it!
What I have come to understand is that I seem to cry a lot and that this is life. It is not happening to me, it is happening inside me, all around me and to all of us all the time. 2012 isn't over yet and I am feeling that familiar child-like giddiness at the approaching holiday season. I am looking forward to all that will be enjoyed and challenged and experienced, every little bit of it!
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