Anxious about Autism...Again

Yesterday was hectic.  It began by my 7 year old being in intense pain with the onset of his second ear infection.  The first had just resolved after 6 weeks, 5 doctor appointments and 5 prescriptions.  I was scheduled to volunteer at the elementary school's semi-annual bookfair at 8:40 AM.  I administered ibuprofen to my boy and waited.  By the time it kicked in (that stuff is miraculous) and I knew he could go to school we headed out, but we were late.  It was just 25 minutes, but the stage was set for an off day.

At 1:15 PM as I was leaving, my volunteer duties completed, I was called aside by a therapist at the school.  She works with my 10 year old who is on the Autistic Spectrum.  This therapist is someone I trust.  We have been collaborating for 5 years on my son's behalf.  He has always been mainstreamed and his issues have been pretty much text book for his disorder.

As his 4th grade school year winds down, I was asked to think about our upcoming meeting to discuss 5th grade and how it would affect the transition to middle school.  She mentioned something about him being placed in the Autistic Support Program in middle school and from that moment, I didn't hear anything else she said.  My mind started racing.  "What?"  "Why would we do that?"  "But, wait, he's always been in regular classes."  "Is he getting worse?"  "Oh, no."  "Please, no."

Despite my ability to advocate for services, for several years after his diagnosis at age 3 1/2, I did not say the words Autism or Asperger's.  I just couldn't.  In fact, if any family member, educator or therapist tried to give me information on the disorder I would become overwhelmed with anxiety. Usually, these situations would send me fleeing in the direction of home to safety.  Any plans I may have had would have to be postponed or cancelled.  Forget about laundry, cooking, grocery shopping and the rest of it.  It was a bad place and a bad time.  And I thought it was totally behind me.

I had a lunch date yesterday afternoon with a good friend with whom I volunteered at the bookfair.  She was very accommodating and after I told her about the conversation with the therapist, she happily accompanied me to my house and we ordered take-out.  Ah, sweet safety.

Later,  I secured a last minute appointment at the doctor for my 7 year old's ear infection.  When I got there, I realized I had forgotten my purse with my insurance information and credit cards so I had to call my husband to bring it to me.  

I missed my yoga class last night at 7.

Thank goodness days like this don't happen very often anymore.  Overall, I made it to the doctor appointment.  I touched base with a friend who is also an autism parent.  I took good care of my boys.  I slept pretty well last night.  I think I did a little bit better.